I am Your Child
Comic Illustrations / Ilustrasi komik: Johnny Ong
I told him not to take the bus, but to share the drive back to Kuala Lumpur with me. He agreed. On the road, however, he was constantly sending text messages over his mobile phone, and he was clearly troubled. I asked him about it. He said his girlfriend was angry with him for returning to the city so late. I said, "sorry... I hadn't realised that you'd get into trouble". And he said, "no, don't worry about it. I'll sort it out with her".
ON THE DRIVE BACK TO KL: Sorry we're late! — It's okay. Don't worry. My girlfriend will understand. I will explain to her later.
I knew if I had not met him through a mutual friend, I would not have had the opportunity to know what I now know about him, how much he loves his family, no matter how much they have hurt him, how much he still cares for them even if they may not fully understand his decisions and how they have chosen not to support some of these.
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That is who he is, the kind of guy who would keep telling me not to worry, but he would silently worry for me. When I worried if he and the rest of the digital storytellers would finish their digital stories in time, he said, “don’t worry, we won’t let you down”, and he kept reassuring me. It was easy to like him, to respect how responsible he is as a person.
5th DAY OF WORKSHOP: Don't worry. We will not disappoint you. We will finish our digital stories.
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YOU BLOODY BASTARD! — Never thought mum would say such things to me.
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DURING THE WORKSHOP: I am very close to my mother. I was so hurt when she used those words with me.
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He is such a responsible person. Hopefully, with time, his parents will be able to accept him.
Even though his story, is a very personal conversation, a conversation that never took place with his mother at the time, it is a conversation that other parents may want to hear, and may as well, like his mother, choose to reject.
I have noted that some people feel that parents need not love their children above all else, that other roles, like giving guidance and disciplining them if they are wrong, must remain their duty and priority. I can certainly agree on those points, but how is transitioning to become a man, an issue of discipline or an issue for further parental guidance? Should not parents try to educate themselves first, and understand, if indeed, that transitioning to either gender is morally wrong? And if they are convinced that it is wrong for anyone to attempt to alter their bodies, should they not ask the question, why their trans children are so willing and ready to bear the risks that are associated with taking hormones, some of which are quite severe? To go under the knife when for everyone else, even the simplest surgery raises concern? I personally cannot fathom such willingness to take those risks, and can only conclude that the incongruence with their biological sex at birth and their gendered body—which psychologists call "gender dysphoria"—is extremely overwhelming. I will always wish him well.
I have noted that some people feel that parents need not love their children above all else, that other roles, like giving guidance and disciplining them if they are wrong, must remain their duty and priority. I can certainly agree on those points, but how is transitioning to become a man, an issue of discipline or an issue for further parental guidance? Should not parents try to educate themselves first, and understand, if indeed, that transitioning to either gender is morally wrong? And if they are convinced that it is wrong for anyone to attempt to alter their bodies, should they not ask the question, why their trans children are so willing and ready to bear the risks that are associated with taking hormones, some of which are quite severe? To go under the knife when for everyone else, even the simplest surgery raises concern? I personally cannot fathom such willingness to take those risks, and can only conclude that the incongruence with their biological sex at birth and their gendered body—which psychologists call "gender dysphoria"—is extremely overwhelming. I will always wish him well.
Saya Anak Anda"Anak gampang!
Setelah sekian lama Penat aku bekerja dan ini yang kau beri, kehampaan?" Itulah kata-kata mu yang menusuk terus ke dalam hatiku Aku seperti kaca berkecai, Aku bertanya kepada diri sendiri bagaimana mungkin kata-kata mu itu begitu menyakitkan Dia yang aku harapkan untuk beri keselesaan kini bukan lagi orang yang sama Aku pergi dalam diam Aku tahu apa yang kau kata asalnya dari kemarahan Atau mungkin ketakutan Sekurang-kurangnya itulah yang aku beritahu diri sendiri sekadar penenang hati Kalaulah aku boleh membuat mu memahami Dan memberitahu mu, Betapa pentingnya perjalanan ini kepada ku. Harus aku beritahu mu, Harus aku menyedarkan mu, Sekalipun penerimaan dari mu jauh sekali akan ku dapati, Aku mahu kau tahu badan ku ini tidak serasi dengan batin ku Tidak serasi dengan minda ku Aku perlu mencari diri sendiri Untuk sesuai dengan dunia ini Untuk membantu yang lain melihat diriku yang sebenar Aku lelaki, walaupun bukan seperti cara kau fahami, Tetapi aku masih anak mu yang kau lahirkan dulu, Anak mu. Aku bukan satu kehampaan, Aku bukan anak gampang, Itu kerana mu juga. |
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